Note to my readers: Although this title states “A Gentleman’s Guide…” it is applicable to all attempting to talk to anyone, and not just for guys trying to talk to girls.
There are a few simple steps any man can do to help himself in conversation with a potential partner. The easiest two things to do are to dress nicely and style your hair. It is proven that when one looks better they will naturally feel better, and thus feel more confident. Confidence is key.
Next, comes your body language. You want to seem confident and approachable. This starts with your shoulders. You do not want your shoulders to be slouched or overly straight. Essentially, they should be relaxed without being grossly slouched. On top of this you make yourself appear content. Following these basic steps will make you appear more desirable before the conversation even starts, thus making the conversation much easier.
NOW COMES THE CONVERSATION
Conversation is like warfare. Soldiers will not walk into a fight blindly without a plan just as you should never approach a conversation without a plan and several, by several I mean many, back up plans. You should always have a couple of go to conversations stored in the back of your head to get yourself out of awkward silences. The more well versed you are in a broad variety of subjects the more equipped you are to successfully converse. Even if you are not an expert in every field, if you know enough to relate you will seem more interesting to talk to. This next bit might be one of the most important parts.
Remember reading about seeming content before? Good!
Keep a smile on your face while listening to what they’re saying. (This does not apply if the conversation becomes serious). Also keep that charming smile while you talk. Like before there are exceptions to this one as well. If you decide to tell a joke that requires a change in emotion, then change that facial expression for the joke.
It will be extremely difficult to find a girl who will say they do not like a charming smile.
Going back to handling the situation: Keep a soft look in you eyes. If you fail to do this you may come across as closed, which could leave room for mystery (may work may not), but successfully keeping that soft look makes you appear approachable. This will allow the girl to feel more comfortable around you.
Changing the way you approach conversations is as easy as learning to walk or riding a bike. Kris Kringle (in Santa Claus is Coming to Town) expresses this concept best. “Difficult? Why, why look here. Changing from bad to good’s as easy as…taking your first step.” you may not be great with conversation right now but keeping these simple ideas in your mind will make the battlefield that is conversation seem much easier.
For more advice try reading The Fundamentals of Striking Up a Good Conversation
Time for My Movie Choice of the Week: