Let me tell you all a story about a young man struggling with his emotions.  This man cared for everyone around him and never, ever, wanted to hurt a soul.  However, this seemingly nice man was very, very capable of hurting those close to him.  He had a girlfriend, that was very loving and understanding, that he loved as much as his young heart could love, but one day she decided that she needed her space.  We have all heard this story, couple breaks up and the dumped eats out their feelings in a tub of ice cream, probably Ben and Jerry’s.  Well this isn’t that story.Breakup of a couple and a sad man in the background

Instead of dealing with his emotions, the young man suppressed them, all day and night for several days.  He went about daily life, but instead of talking to his now ex-girlfriend, he talked to every other girl he found attractive.  He started having casual affairs with one of his female friends.  Now you have definitely heard this story before, man and woman have a fling with “no strings attached” except for the fact that one of them catches feelings.  You’re close, but in this story they both catch feelings… just not for each other.  She falls for him, he falls into an emotion pit of darkness feeling nothing but regret for what he has been doing with his friend while still feeling a deep love for his ex-girlfriend.

All of this pain comes out when the young man discusses his feelings with his recent hook-up buddy.  The conversation follows these rules:

Her- “I developing a lot of feelings for you, and I have been thinking we should see where they take us.  As long as you feel the same way that is.  Sooooo, what do you think… do you want to try dating?”

Him (knowing now that he is about to hurt his friend)- “Well I wanted to talk to say that… well I think we should stop what we have been doing… I have been really upset recently because of the breakup and I just feel that… well I feel that what we have been doing was just me trying to avoid dealing with my emotions…  I’m sorry”

She walks away, visibly sad.  He now knows that he has just hurt his friend and has still not dealt with his emotions.

So, don’t bottle up your emotions, hook up with your friend, hurt their feelings and leave yourself no better than where you started.  Just remember the wise words of Hal Jordan (from the Green Lantern), “No matter how bad things get, something good is out there, just over the horizon.”

Ps. This story is about a guy but does not mean it is specific to men.

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If you couldn’t guess, my movie choice of the week is Inside Out

If you’d like more advice about problems like this check out these articles:

How To Handle A Breakup: 10 Do’s and 5 Don’ts

15 Ways to Get Over a Breakup Like a Grown Woman


One thought on “How NOT to deal with emotions after a breakup

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